I think... therefore I am annoyed. — Darby Conley

"Robert, after spending 48 hours with this fish, we have transcended the conventional "food-to-consumer" relationship. This fish is now my friend."

"You can wordify anything if you just verb it."

"I call this "Ode to a Pigeon": Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You lookin at me? You lookin at me?!"

"OK, monkey, its just you and me... Ill give you time to pray to your big, filthy monkey god before I food you."