What About Bob?

"[To the Guttmans, who saw him push Bob into the lake] WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?! I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BUY THIS HOUSE!"

"[Telling the hospital staff therapy jokes] So the psychiatrist has a patient. He draws a circle and says, "What do you think of when you see this?" He says "Sex." [The staff laugh.] Thats not the joke yet, wait a second. He draws a picture of a tree and says "What do you think of that one when you see it?" He says "Sex." All right, then he draws a picture of a car, a house: "Sex. Sex. Sex." The doctor says, "You know youre obsessed with sex." And the patient says "Well youre the one drawing all the dirty pictures." [The staff laugh.]"

"Hello, my name is Bob. Would you knock me out, please?"

"Bobs a special kind of friend. The kind that drives you crazy!"

"Charlie Korsmo - Sigmund Siggy Marvin"

"Richard Dreyfuss - Dr. Leo Marvin"

"[Telling another joke to the hospital staff] Roses are red, violets are blue; Im a schizophrenic...and so am I. [staff laugh]"